Friday January 25, 2013

Every Friday we light candles.  

We light them for ourselves and for everyone.

Begin

This is now.  Don't

postpone till then.  Spend

the spark of iron on stone.

Sit at the head of the table;

dip your spoon in the bowl.

Seat yourself next your joy

and have your awakened soul

pour wine.  Branches in the 

spring wind, easy dance of

jasmine and cypress.  Cloth

for green robes has been cut

from pure absence.  You're

the tailor, settled among his 

shop goods, quietly sewing.

--Rumi

We tried a journaling idea.  

Since it's still January we took a minute to think about beginnings.  When does something really begin?  Can you tell when something really starts?   Sometimes you can and sometimes you can't.  And yet, true thresholds seem to be crossed at times.  To anchor the thought into our day to day, we spent a minute thinking about the start of our day.  Is there a time or a place when we leave the misty fog of dreamtime behind and cross into the clarity of the daylight?  What could be done at this threshold to say hello, to ourselves, to the day, to freshness and curiosity and wonder?

Celebrate :: Now

As I mentioned in a previous post, celebrate is my word for the year.  

Celebrate, as in to observe with ceremony, to keep with some element of festivity, and to notice, savor, and revere. 

Celebrate is often associated with high energy and parties.  The word tends to have a prom dress draw--toward eye catching flounce, general bigness, and bling.  And that's ok, friends who know me can attest to the fact that I do love a good dose of sparkle.  But sometimes, the bling can obscure the view.  This month, what I'm interested in is the idea of celebration as a frame, as a simple way of structuring a moment to help guide attention to the story as it is unfolding, a way to observe with intention.   Nothing special added.  

Paying attention with the frame of a photograph seemed a fine place to start.  Here is what I'm celebrating right now (or at least this past weekend ;-):

Friday January 18, 2013

Every Friday we light candles.  

We light them for ourselves and for everyone.

 "Not only are all men alike (generically speaking), but man by nature is a societal creature.  Aside from the strength and weakness found in homo sapiens, man has been working, from the beginning at the great adventure of 'community.' Whenever Cro-magnon man, under whatever strange impulse, put aside his stone and ax and decided to mutually cooperate with his caveman neighbor, it marked the most creative turn of events in his existence."

--Martin Luther King, Nashville Tennessee, December 27, 1962

One Little Word

Last year, inspired by my friend, Laurel, I signed up for Ali Edwards' online class called One Little Word.  I'm going to do it again for two reasons: 

I liked the experience of living with a word, and seeing how that single concept worked on me over the course of a year.  

And this class is all about getting visual with a word.  

Paying attention to the visual aspect of my life gave me a fresher more direct experience of my day to day.  

Here are a couple of my pages:

I'll be honest, this class wasn't easy for me.  I'm not a scrap booker by nature, and the monthly pace was more than I could keep up.  Even so, that visual prompt was so beneficial. 

Last year, in anticipation of a schedule that changed frequently until this past September, I chose the word flexible.   Working with flexible taught me that, for me, right now, I have to be firm to be flexible.  With the three girls at ages 8,6 and now 3, my days can feel reactive.  I  do better with some structure and systems, so that I know when I can be flexible.  A little structure also seems to help reduce the number of times a day I feel overwhelmed.

This year, my word is celebrate, as in to observe with ceremony, to keep with some element of festivity, and to notice, savor, and revere.  This will involve my role as a Lifecycle Ceremony Celebrant, experimenting with wearing that cloth a little more fully, and trying out for myself different kinds of simple ceremonies to help frame what is happening in my life right now.

Friday January 11, 2013

Every Friday we light candles.  

We light them for ourselves and for everyone.

"Every day is a new day.

The moment is what we have"

--Lasanah

After some positive feedback about a journaling prompt in December, we will be experimenting with journaling prompts.  On Friday we started off with a New Year's prompt from Tara Mohr.  We percolated on whether or not this exercise inspired a word for the year or not.

I've included a few portions of Tara's New Year's prompt, to give you a taste.  What does it feel like to you to think of being more radical?  If you were going to be more radical what would you do?  I'm so curious!

"1. Because I wanted to make 2013 count, I…

........

4. Because the things that brought me joy in childhood still do, in 2013 I…

5. Because simple pleasures are so rich, in 2013 I…

......

12. Because I vowed to be more radical, in 2013 I…"

Parenting inspiration from an unexpected source

I got the chance to re-read To Kill A Mockingbird over this Christmas-break, and was struck by what an inspiring book it is for parents.  

High school readers instantly connect with Scout,  a precocious eight year old tom boy, who is trying to make sense of the increasing tension in her Southern town caused by a trial in which her father, Atticus is representing the defendant.  But it is Atticus Finch who, for me, became one my new parenting heroes in this re-read.

More than once when Atticus is questioned about the wisdom of taking on a case that was lost from the beginning he claims, "Right, but do you think I could face my children otherwise?"  Throughout the novel he expresses deep compulsion to do the right thing, based on who he wants to be for his children.

Along the way, he takes a number of miserable brow beatings from his proper sister for not sweating the small stuff, like appropriate dress and southern manners for Scout.  As a parent, I was really feeling for this fellow desperate parent--wanting to do right and be right, and teach his kids the right stuff, but meanwhile on the surface the kids are beating each other up, insulting the cousins, and failing to act normal at the dinner table.  Sound familiar?

Here's my favorite quote from this time around:

"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand.  It's when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what."

Would love to hear your thoughts on this novel!

Friday January 4, 2013

Every Friday we light candles.  

We light them for ourselves and for everyone.

"The art of love is largely the art of persistence."

--Albert Ellis

Recently I realized that some people reading my blog weren't clear on who "we" are.  We are a group of women who practice seated meditation together on Fridays at 10AM.  We convened out of curiosity about meditation practice and the mutual need for a time and place to connect and settle.  We light candles, we sit and then we journal.  All in all it is a forty-five to fifty minute session.  The intention is to create a safe space for practice and for holding hopes and fears as they arise.

Wishing you a year of fresh encounters and warm connections.

It feels so good to sit again!

Experimenting with a new approach to resolution season

As we head into resolution season, I'm thinking about two things I have grown into believing:

Growth and development are our fundamental nature.

and

Love never fails.

To me, the picture above is a visual representation that life unfolds on its own.  That in the right conditions (especially if one of those conditions is love), baby feet grow into big feet without any effort at all.  They don't resolve to grow, they just do.

If it's true that love never fails and growth is inevitable, it seems to me that resolution season may be better spent listening for what love calls us to, and gently orienting ourselves in that direction.  

I experimented with this attitude last January and found that it helped me foster more of a growth mindset, in which I felt more comfortable taking new risks (like asking some friends if they would be interested in experimenting with meditation together--this was terrifying for me, but resulted in our Friday meditation group that we've been documenting one photo at a time).  I'm curious if this more gentle approach to new beginnings would support risk taking for others...  

Report back if you try it out!

Happy New Year!

Magic belongs to those who know how to make it...

Conspiring with my sweetheart to create a rich Santa story line has been one of the highs of my adult life.  This season I loved this article that explores the impact of spinning the Santa yarn for your kids.  And over the years I've fallen in love with the movie, Lars and the Real Girl, which makes a great case for how believing in fiction can heal hearts.

With our oldest daughter, now eight, this was the Christmas our Santa story had to begin address the very real aspect of growing up, and growing out of the original Santa story line.  Over the last few weeks we've been doing our best to usher her to the next phase of Christmas magic by getting her involved in the story.  Early in December  she was invited by the elves to participate in a Quest to become an Assistant Elf.

Inspired by my friend, Laurel, the grand finale was a scrap book that documented her quest.

It was highly secretive, she was the only sister old enough to help out.

Jolly, the elf, announced she had been identified

as just the kind of girl who might make a great Assistant Elf.

So she was invited on a quest to spread Christmas Cheer.

The elves set her up with her very own email address for sending Christmas notes to loved ones.

There were lots of decorating tasks, including decorating her sisters' bedroom doors. 

When Chloe saw her door she exclaimed, "The elves were here!"

There was a surprise day off for spending with her great-aunt who flew in from NYC.

Donuts and a lot of silly fun were had.

After a final task of accompanying her grandmother to Church, Christmas Eve, the Quest was completed.  When she found out that the Quest was done, she looked up and said, "Mom, I'm sad the Quest is over."  

Well, love, this Quest, thankfully never really ends.

Here is the final note of her official Quest to become and Assistant Elf.

Dear Gwendolyn,

We got word in the North Pole that you're learning a lot about the world these days.  Your teachers tell us that you know a lot of Math and are reading whole chapter books on your own!  It's not uncommon for someone to alert us when a child starts learning all these things, because it is at the very moment when children start to learn all about "real" things, that they are tempted to stop believing in magic.

We've been through this a lot at the North Pole, and what we've learned is that the people who get to keep magic in their lives are the ones who figure out how to make it.  And that's why we sent you on the quest this year.

Thank you for doing it, you helped us out ALOT!  We hope you had fun.

By doing your quest you proved that you know how to make Christmas magic all on your own.  This is a very special and important accomplishment, because it means that you will have Christmas magic in your life forever and ever.  Santa will be able to live on.  Your children and your children's children will believe.  And us elves, here in the North Pole will continue to have jobs!  So we are very grateful to you.

You are now officially an Assistant Elf.  CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Dear, dear Gwendolyn, we know that this is just the beginning of the magic you will make in your life.  Your family is so lucky to have a sparkler like you in their lives.

Merry Christmas!

Making it real

Manifesto manifested!

I have been taking a blogging break

to tend to holiday bustle.

But this gift stopped me in my tracks.

May you too

be blessed by a friend

who reflects

back to you

the you

you dream of becoming.

And thanks too

to the artist

whose creative dream

gives voice 

to mine.