The thing I need you to know

Half way through I realized this heart drawing was not going to come out "right."  But the thing I heard inside was see it through and see what happens.  I keep it as a reminder that imperfect work is better than no work at all.  

Friends of my blog,

I miss you.  I have been posting less often, as my writing has been taking me into yet unformed places.  I have been visiting the edges of my writing skills.  I have been focusing on some longer pieces and hunkering into creating the kind of freedom that is needed to produce work that is truly new--that is written for the adventure of writing it.  And yet, part of the big adventure for me has been the opportunity to be in touch with you, the people who I know, love, enjoy and who, more than anyone else, have encouraged me to keep at writing.  You are such an important part of it for me.  Write for yourself, first, the teachers say.  And I get that.  In part it means do it for the sake of doing it.  Enjoy the process of writing, figure out what writing offers you minus any outer recognition.  

But what I realized just this morning, is that my writing, from its earliest inception, was in the form of letters to friends.  I was never very good at journaling, like many writers are, but what I did with absolute childhood fervor was write to friends.  Long letters that traveled up and down the east coast, making their final stop in places like Skaneatelas, Greensboro, Weston, Allendale, New Canaan, Guilford and more.  

What kind of letters were these?  Just common letters in their way, contemplations about a new crush, tender bits of gossip, wonderings about what grown up life would be like.  But as a whole, when I think of all of you to whom I wrote as a girl and a young woman, and when I think of those of you who follow the blog, I know in my heart these were love letters.  They were meditations on the people I was writing to, my hopes for them and my hopes for myself, braided together in words.  They were a way of keeping in touch, and a request for companionship around the questions that life, at every stage has posed to us.

So with that, I've realized that my writing will never exist in a vacuum, without you.  And given that I have other pieces in the works that require a different approach from blogging, I hereby announce that I will be posting shorter bits, questions, unformed thoughts and sentences that sometimes will have dangling participles or other such grammatical insults.  Thank you in advance for being willing to shift sets, to leave the smooth pavement of crafted prose, and head out onto the road less traveled--dusty and full of rocks, where thoughts are blurted, things don't necessarily match, and where you may watch me change my mind 10,000 times as I wonder about things I don't yet understand.

I would love to hear from you too.  I'd love to read your writing, hear about what you are loving (or despising) lately, and generally what you are up to.  Don't be shy.  Leave comments.  You are all good people here and might very well meet some new people you'll enjoy or catch up with friends you love.

With love and appreciation
Cristina